‘My dreams were to become a mother, not to be pregnant!’
My mom always describes her feeling of adopting a child as a calling. She always knew that she would never be able to carry a baby inside of her. She’d never met people who adopted a child. She didn’t know any orphanage or an abandoned child. However, the adoption was, for her, the only solution to become a parent. She was ‘raised’ in a Catholic family with whom she hadn’t spent that much time with because a lot of her early years were in hospital.
To understand her feelings, you’ve to know that when my mom was born, she presented her legs first and not her head. So, the doctor dislocated her hips at birth by pulling her out. Her bones in her legs are not connected to her hips. She had to wait for the first prostheses to be able to stand on her own in her twenties. That’s why, she spent a lot of time in hospital and couldn’t have the same life like her 10 siblings. She wanted to be a mother like her sisters.
So, at 26 years old, she decided to find out how to adopt a child. Where she was living, adoption was uncommon. It took her 14 years to complete the tiresome process and become a parent. She encountered a lot of problems because of her disability.
People thought that having a disability wouldn’t allow a kid to have a ‘normal’ life. For a lot of them, it was a selfish decision to adopt, because handicapped people often have to deal with the judgments of others.
♡ Do you think people with disabilities should be able to adopt?
In my opinion, it’s up to the disability. I can’t say people with a disability shouldn’t adopt, because of my mom. If a person has all the mental functionality required to raise a child, I’m 100% okay with that. I think anybody can adopt unless they are not prepared to be an adopting parent. Even with her disability, my mom is a good mother, the best I know. We have taken care of one another from the day I started to give her a chance. It wasn’t easy every day. We have to deal with idiots.
For instance, one day we were shopping at the market in the town and many people who didn’t know us, couldn’t stop staring at us. First they were looking at her crutch which my mom uses to walk, then they were asking what I was doing with her. That made me angry to see her being judged which in turn made me feel protective of her. I should thank those idiots because that helped us to understand each other and become closer. Something clicked in my head and at that moment and she became ‘my mom’. This was important because as a fetus you develop feelings for the person that’s carrying you. Even though I was 3 years old when I came, it took me until the moment in the market to adopt my ‘new’ mom. Since then, I’ve never looked back.