not real mom

You’re Not My Real Mom


Please don’t say they’re not my ‘real’ parents! My adoptive parents are my real parents! Maybe the real terminology people are looking for is birth parent.

OKAY OKAY, I have to admit! As a child, I was a mean cu*t!! Of course, that hurtful remark came as soon as I wasn’t getting my way: “You’re not even my ‘real’ parents”. I was very spoiled. My parents were trying too hard to get my love. I knew it and I was manipulating them. Adoptees can play with the adoptive parents to get what they want. When my mom heard it the first time, “you-are-not-my-real-mom”, that hit her with surprise and sadness then she decided to give me what I wanted. Unfortunately, in my psychopathic young mind, I kept it and used it every time I wanted something. Even though I never meant what I said, I kept saying it from my childhood to my teenage years.

Today, I madly regret this behavior. I was too spoiled and became a bit of a cunt. Hopefully, I have changed. Nowadays, when I hearing this phrase, I understand how my parents felt. My adoptive parents are my REAL parents! People are fucking stupid sometimes. When I put a picture with my dad or mom on Facebook,  people often ask me if I know who my ‘real’ parents are. My real parents are Elise and Bernard. They’re the only parents I know and the only ones I want. I know that they adopted me; however, we learnt how to love each other and how to live with one another.

Giving birth to a child doesn’t make you a parent! Elise and Bernard were involved in my childhood. I’ve seen them taking time, working hard, rearranging their priorities, sacrificing what they want to do for what I need to do and taking care of me when Im sick. They took time to work on our relationship and set up trust, love and respect. Being a real parent is not about when it’s convenient for you. It’s a 24 hour a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year commitment. They gained my love and my trust. Don’t expect me to pick my birth parents over my real parents. I’m thankful to my birth parents nonetheless but they’re nothing to me except a gift of sperm and ovules to give me life!

I hate when encounters, friends or unknown people tell me that my real parents are the ones in Africa and I should go back there and help them. I hate when some people advise me to be kind and agree to send money or toys to my ‘siblings’ because we sharing the same blood. What the HELL! I’ve nothing to do with this family! They are NOBODY to me. Their life doesn’t matter to me! I hate when I’m shopping with my mom and people staring at us like we’re from another planet, but I don’t care! I absolutely hate when people tell my mom that I’m not her real child because she didn’t give birth to me. F*cking idiots! A lot of people can give birth but not everybody can be a mother!


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  • Durrant's Divulging

    100% agree my eldest sons biological sperm donor( as we call him) had nothing to do with him whilst growing up !! My sons Father is my partner who took him on as his own at 3 years of age and now he’s 15 . my partner tells everyone he is his son and my son calls him Dad has done since about 5 years old and never looked back !! Creating a child doesn’t mean your a parent ! Providing, loving and being there makes you a parent ! Well said fully agree fab blog xxx

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